My Musical Motivation

I know that I am a big advocator of having a good attitude and persevering through hard times. However, I am also realistic. There are definitely times when I welcome feeling bad about my life. I tell myself that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself because ultimately it solves nothing. But I kind of think that sometimes it's ok if I feel sorry for myself. Something really bad happened. I lost a large part of how I defined myself. Yes, I have SO much to be grateful for (I am still alive when death was breathing down my neck; not only am I alive but I am doing very well; my surgery could have had a much different outcome and it didn't; I have an incredible support system, on and on and on...). But I think it's ok to mourn the loss of my former self.

In those times, when I don't feel like picking myself up, dusting off, and holding my head high as I limp through life, I love listening to music that basically verifies and agrees with all of my sad thoughts. Here are some songs that I listened to a little too often in my early stages of recovery: (please note that I am VERY well aware that most of these songs are cheesy. Sue me for liking some cheesy music!

- Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage (this was pretty much my theme song... still kind of is)
- The Avett Brothers - The Perfect Space (the lyrics, "I want to have friends/ that I can trust/ that love me for the man I've become not the man that I was/ And I wanna have friends/ that let me be/ all alone when being alone is all that I need" resonates with me)
- Ingrid Michaelson - Keep Breathing
- Kanye West - Lost In This World
- Citizen Cope - Sideways
- LeAnn Rimes - What I Cannot Change
- Glee Cast - Happy Days Are Here Again (sad but not)
- Sufjan Stevens - For the Windows in Paradise 
- Little Big Town - Lean Into It
- Glee Cast - Smile (I know that it's so cheesy to put the Glee version on here but for some reason I love it. This song can make me cry, really cry, at the drop of a hat; it's just heartbreaking to me)
- Norah Jones - The Grass Is Blue (originally a Dolly Parton song, and I LOVE me some Dolly, but I got hooked on this beautiful version)
- Jump Little Children - Cathedrals
- Portishead - Roads (you can't listen to depressing songs without a little Portishead)
- Regina Spektor - Hero

Then after a little while, true to form, I am done wallowing. I still turn to music, but I want it to motivate me, which it does! Here are some songs that I listen to when I need a little push:

- Richie Havens - Here Comes the Sun (in my opinion, this is the very best version of this song; it was the song of the father-daughter dance at my wedding)
- Gwyneth Paltrow - A Fighter (from the movie, Country Strong)
- Robyn - Dancing On My Own 
- Christina Aguilera - Keep On Singin' My Song
- Gwyneth Paltrow - Country Strong (from the movie Country Strong)  Yeah I am!!
- Idina Menzel - Defying Gravity 
- Christina Aguilera - I Am 
- Jo Dee Messina - Bring On the Rain
- Kanye West - Stronger (yeah it's everyone's motivational song but it works. Sue me)
- Timberland with One Republic - Marching On
- Sophie Ellis Baxter - Real Tough Girl 
- Talib Kweli - Get By
- The Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Native Melody)
- Kanye West - Amazing (yeah I am, WHAT!)
- Kelly Pickler - Tough (cuz there aint nothin' wrong with a woman that's got a little backbone)

- Chumba Wumba - I Get Knocked Down (obvious choice; duh)

- Eminem - Cinderella Man

- Florence + The Machine - The Dog Days Are Over (I know this is one of her popular songs but no matter what it picks me up, even makes me choke up; I love it)

- Garth Brooks - The River

- Glee Cast - Keep Holding On (I know, I know. I also know that it's not even the original version...I just like it)