Can Fish Oil Help Heal An Injured Brain?

My cousin sent me a very interesting article about how healing fish oil can be with a TBI. It's amazing that she sent this because my mom and I have been discussing the importance of fish oil! Is the universe trying to tell me something? I already take 4 pills a day but I wonder if I should increase the dosage. Any advice?

Click on the link below to read the article! So interesting!
http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/19/health/fish-oil-brain-injuries/index.html?hpt=hp_c2http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/19/health/fish-oil-brain-injuries/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Some Work Out to Work Out; I Work Out to Work

OK so I don't lead the most exciting life.

I am very conscious that I don't always feel like I have a lot to show for my day. At the moment, I don't technically have a job (can't drive to one, need a job that would hire me yaddy yaddy yadda) but I do work. The difference in what I do now, and a "normal" job, is that my job right now is to get better. And to do that, I need to work out.

I don't work out because I am bored or want to get skinny (though c'mon, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't care if I gained a bunch of weight). I work out because I have to. It is the only way I can get my brain and body to recover. I'm aware of the fact that I will not be the same person that I used to be, but I will recover.

Moving to Memphis and adjusting to a new gym, plus realizing and accepting that my body is at a different place than it was 6 months ago, I've readjusted my workout regimen. I still do my regular workout that has both cardio (20-40 mins between the elliptical and the stair mill), lifting weights (both arms and legs), and working on my core (great for balance) as well as days where I mainly do cardio, balance, (the Bosu Ball and I have a very love/hate relationship) and some basic agilities.

Look at these 2 nuts! They seem to be loving the Bosu Ball!

Lately, I have combined my old workout with new things. I have started doing spin class 1-3 days a week (which is obviously a great cardio workout but also is great for balance, muscle control, and my grip), and occasionally a class that really challenges my small muscle groups, balance, and stability. Then a few weeks ago, I started to work out with an assistant strength coach for the football team at the University of Memphis 1-2 days  week. With him, I have lifted weights, challenging muscles that I don't normally reach, which helps with my proprioception as well as making muscle fibers fire that aren't necessarily firing that should be. We also do agility type wok which challenges my body to move in ways that should be easy and are not. These days kill me. Next week (hopefully) I am starting Bikram Yoga. I am pretty sure that this will take challenging me to a new level. From everything that I am told and read about I think it'll be great for me as well as insanely hard for me. I'll definitely document how that goes.

Basically, through doing all of this, I am consistently working my muscles to create new pathways between my body and my brain. In doing so repetitively the goal is that my brain will use these new pathways and fire these muscles, stabilizers, use balance, and proprioception on its own, without me forcing it to do so.

Like any job, there are days when I am not motivated, not productive, or play hooky. But also like having a job, I make myself go at least 5 days a week. I have to be consistent or I take steps backwards which, in this scenario, it's just not ok. I work out not only for me, but for my family, my husband, my friends, and my future family. I have real goals and motivations.  Working out is my job; my profession, and I don't usually take it lightly.

A Day in the Life - Let's Go Grocery Shopping!

I know I have been absent. I seem to continue to think negatively about my situation right now. I think my slump not only comes from my 'woe is me' attitude, but the fact that I recently moved to Memphis and don't really feel like myself yet. I know that this is something that almost anyone who has moved can relate to; it's just hard. It's hard for me to really open up to people I am getting to know, or in situations where I don't feel like I am in control.

I am dealing with that on top of the fact that I am getting used to introducing people I don't know to a side of myself that I am not really comfortable with yet. It's not comfortable to ask for help before you know someone, and it's hard to be myself without asking for some help. *sigh* it's a vicious cycle. I'll get over it.

To try and bring myself out of my little pity party, I decided that I need to focus on things that make me happy. One of the little things in life that gives me joy and comfort is cooking. In honor of the fall (cold-ish weather finally came to Memphis, though it's not supposed to really last) I am cooking turkey vegetable chili and corn bread muffins. In order to do that I need to take a little trip to the grocery store. For most people (excluding those in NYC etc) you just get in your car and go. For me, there i a little more strategy involved.

I need a few things to make my life easier:

I am one of the 6 people in the country that don't have the iphone yet (yes, I'm exaggerating... I'm probably 1 of about 13) so I had to get the notepad app. It's a wonderful tool for me because it makes my grocery list legible.

This disposable bag is one of my favorites. Yes it's good for the environment, but what I really value about it is that I can put it on my shoulder which helps IMMENSELY with my balance when I am carrying anything while walking.

And look! I can fold it into a little package to fit in my purse!

My cross body bag which is crucial every single day of my life. Thank God cross body bags are 'in' and popular because it makes my life so much easier. The fact that I have the use of my arms as well as the distribution of weight helps my balance a lot.

This is my walk to the store right out of my complex. The grocery store is down at the end of the street. This is not a walking town (Rarely do you see people walking for purpose here) but it's obviously very possible.

There it is! A quick .2 miles away!

Made it. Look at Righty steering the cart; clinging on for dear life.

I ended up bringing 2 grocery bags, thank goodness. One for each shoulder.

For my right side, I place the bag on my right shoulder, guide my hand to clutch the bag and try and keep my arm in place for the walk home.

Some days are harder, some days are easier, but regardless, my tools are always the same. I am so thankful that we not only live in a part of town that allows me to do this, but the fact that I am able to do this at all. That fact alone makes me a little happier.

Don't Quote That!

Honesty is the best policy, right?

Well if I am honest, the reason why I haven't been blogging lately is because sometimes it's hard to have a positive or hopeful outlook on what happened. Sometimes what was taken away can be devastating. So to write about it seems too dark, like I wouldn't want to see my own thoughts written down.

I read this quote recently: "Don't spend your'e whole life trying to get back something that was taken from you." Initially, I thought it was great; yes, life is different now! It's time to adapt. Then after thinking about it, I found the quote quite depressing. How dare someone say that? Like I said before, I refuse to get used to this and I kind of feel like that quote is telling me to do so.

I'm sorry, but was that quote referring to feeling like your personality was taken away? Your destiny as a women? Because you know what, I'm going to go ahead and fight tooth and nail to get that back. That quote is crap. Fight; get back what was taken; discover new ways to live life along the way.

So until I get out of my slump, stop thinking about how dumb that quote is, and start taking my own advice, I will think about happy and inspirational things!

Happy:
Swimming in the Pacific Ocean. I feel like me!!! I get so happy just thinking about it I want to cry.

 

Inspirational:
Brock Mealer - I wrote about him and shared his story on an earlier post. I worked out with him and got to see him make amazing progress and he just keeps FIGHTING and making more progress. If you think you're tough, you're not. Check out someone who is: (his latest progress)

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/mealer-family-walking-tall-after-tragedy

and

this video

Getting Used To It is Not an Option

It seems like the one thing that all people with a TBI can agree on, is that there are good days and bad days, mentally and physically. Movement, even agility, is almost easy on good days.; hope is limitless. Then there are other days where my limbs feel as though they weigh 1000 pounds each, and movement is almost painfully hard and my balance is so off that I can barely stand still when I want, and I am never going to make progress. I will say, my bad days aren't as bad, and there are fewer of them.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am just used to the bad days so they don't seem as hard.

I don't want to be used to this at all. I don't want to get used to not feeling anything with my right hand. I don't if there is a know a rehab that fixes that. Is there some voodoo that I can do to get my nerves to heal? Please tell me if there is. I refuse to get used to the fact that when I lay down I get so dizzy that my stomach hurts and turns. They said I don't have vertigo, so what is it? How do I make it stop? I won't get used to the fact that I can barely walk in a straight line and move without being awkward.

I'm terrified of someday accepting this as normal. I can't believe that this is all I can do. I know it's been 3 years. That seems like an awful long time to try and make this all a thing of the past. I work pretty hard to try and make this all go away, and sometimes, it doesn't seem like anything is happening. Until something does happen..

These days it's nothing big. Recently my improvements aren't as noticeable. In the past I'd celebrate tying my shoe, or walking 1000 yards, trying my shoe, or getting rid of my wheel chair. Now the improvements are much smaller. But I notice (usually; it's nice when someone points it out to me). It might just be gripping something better, or noticing that my balance is better while reaching above my head. Those little things make me continue my hard work.  And so I walk to the gym again, or type on my big embarrassing key board.

This process is BY FAR the slowest, most frustrating, tedious, pain in the ass thing I have EVER done. But I REFUSE to get used to it, or just deal with it, or let it win. I might have bad days once in a while but never do I think that I have a bad life. I need to keep that in mind when I do have a bad day, because those are inevitable.

3 years!!

It's my 3 year anniversary since my brain surgery! My right side is 3 years old. Woohoo! Goin' strong!

"There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

Some Days Ya Gotta Dance

Who says therapy can't be fun?

It has been ALMOST 3 years since my surgery (my 3 year anniversary is tomorrow, September 23rd!). I get asked on a regular basis what the worst thing about my recovery is. Honestly, it's not really a fair question. Anyone who has been through this will tell you that there is not really a good aspect to this situation; constantly getting dizzy, being off balance, not being able to write or type with my right (dominant) hand, not being able to move one side of my body the way I want to, not feeling things, this list goes on and on. I know I am very blessed but there IS one thing that I might miss the most throughout this ordeal: the feeling of being care-free.

Of course I miss my independence, but I also have learned to welcome help from others (not always easy) and I have gained so much of my independence back that my mind is somehow eased by the feeling of hope. But I really don't know if I'll ever feel care-dree again. I truly miss just having fun without thinking, or going somewhere without answering to my own body.

For some reason it's really easy for me to feel very jealous when I watch people on TV. As I view people that just walk and move with ease I say, 'This will never happen to them.' But still, one of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance (on Fox). I LOVE watching people dance! They are so athletic! So graceful! Such body control! I WANT TO DANCE!!!

Turns out, dancing is a great form of physical therapy! It works on balance, small muscle groups,  stabilizers, and proprioception among other things. Plus to me, dancing is a sign of pure joy, fun, and totally being care-free! Well, I am NOT going to let my own body to get in my way! I'm going to dance! I was never very good anyway, so what does it matter now?

"No one looks stupid when they're having fun" - Amy Poehlar

I was determined to dance at my own wedding and so I did. Of course sometimes I lost my balance or just danced with my feet planted on the ground and my arms flailing abut. But for maybe the first time in 3 years, I had REAL fun, and let myself be (almost) completely care free! And let me say, I don't think I ever felt so good in my life! And for a few hours, I didn't think about what I was missing at all.

Me at my wedding. Check out that dance face! Get it, girl!